Do I still belong here? Or do I stand outside? Time takes the next flight. And I try to run after it.
Just born yesterday hardly able to walk already lost my balance nevertheless I'm standing tall
In my head there's so much rage Couldn't sleep the other day That you were there - such benefit Please don't question anymore I only would regret If I'd bent for you much more Sure I didn't always keep the faith But I never cheated you
That is me, That is me - That's the only blame I bear
I am now, I am here, I am me - That's the only blame I bear I am now, I am here, I am me - That's the only blame I bear I do not have to find myself now I just mustn't loose myself
Just born yesterday hardly able to walk already lost my balance nevertheless I'm standing tall
I am now, I am here, I am me - That's the only blame I bear I am now, I am here, I am me - That's the only blame I bear We are now, we are here, we are us - That's the only blame we bear We are now, we are here, we are us - That's the only blame we bear
After we had such a wonderful evening on thursday, I didn't meet my Rammy on Friday. He was there, but I neglected him. First I had to talk to Andrej, then Andrej & me undertook a further "experiment". I promised to meet him - Rammy - later, but he suddenly left without a word. I thought, he must have been very angry with me. And he got the right to be it. I felt so bad!
So I went to the XCite-store and bought a bullwhip for him to punish me. *gulp* But I didn't see him on Saturday, so I felt even worse.
On Sunday we finally met and I was so happy to see him! And he wasn't angry at me. Not at all! *yippie*
I introduced him to Nia and we went to two dance-clubs. (One was a weird furry-place with funny furries talking about their RL-problems. hello?!?) But then he decided, that it's necessary to tame the tiger. I was a little surprised. Everything happened all of a sudden and I didn't even know, what I did wrong. But the really hard part was: Nia was with us all the time! He allowed her to watch while he leashed me, made me undress, jerked me off and forced me to give him a bj right in front of her. I felt so embarassed... and excited. But mostly I felt bad for Nia, cause I think she either would be really bored watching us or she didn't feel comfy with the situation. Afterwards I apologized to her 1000s of times and she said, she's cool with it. But I'm not so sure. I was afraid, that I maybe lost this new-found friend (and I couldn't do anything against it, since I agreed to Rammy as my tora-owner; so I have to follow his will, when I'm a tora-shônen). But then she wrote that wonderful entry in her profile about me and I was calmed.
And I have to admit: Despite all my concerns: It was very exciting!
I just recognized: I'm not sure if I mentioned, that Douggie is going to be MY kitten, that means, I will be his owner and will take the responsibilty. At least he agreed to it. But I have too many obligations right now, so it has to wait to make it official. And he's too busy too; I don't see him very often.
