Thursday, April 24, 2008

no time

Jaja! Lazy again... - No! Actually I was pretty busy. But lazy writing this blog. So many things happened in the last weeks...

I rented a new parcel. Right next to Rosey Cheeks. And I started building again. It's expensive, but wonderful. I think, this is the place where we will stay! The building itself is ready now, but a lot of furnishing to do. *sigh*

Apart from my construction work I had a big fight with Andrej last week. And then - to make it complete - with Rammy too. Rammy is so laid back; it drives me nuts!!! Maybe I'm too emotional? But hey! I'm a tiger! So, what do you expect??? Well, Rammy and me are good again. I rejected him as my owner. So tiger is free and wild again.

Another subject matter is Andrej. - Oh, how I love him. Or loved him? He doesn't deserve my love. I know that now. He's cheating and lying and betraying all the time. I don't know, if it began with his"big Andrej" or if I love-blinded just didn't recognize it, when he was my little angel? *shrug*
He showed offline to me though he was on, and even as I asked him to be honest, he continued lying. And he tries to pull our pledges away from the fraternity, to make them their own slaveboys. So, he's not only lying to me, but tries to cheat at the fraternity too. And he lies in his profile. Oh gosh! I can't bear people who are not honest!!!
These days he said, he's not worthy his angel-wings and one day he'd cut them off. I said "Noooooo!", but now I would say: "Yes, Andrej! You're right. Cut them off. The sooner, the better!"
When he turned to big Andrej the first times, I was just confused. I felt a strange excitement and the urge to submit. So confusing! But now, as he's no longer my little angel and stays in his big master-form, there's no place left for me. And what fascinated me in the beginning is just disgusting me now. He's not much of a caring master, he's only arrogant. But slaveboys are not dumb and they have eyes to see...
Well, after our fight last week, we said we would try to "reboot" our relationship at another level, as "peers". But I don't see a chance for us. I think, it's time to go on. Each in another direction. It makes me sad, but it's better that way.
Geeez, how often did I listen to Linkin Parks "Numb" the last days???

A big surprise to me was my little kitten Douggie. He was there for me, as I was very sad and cried the whole time. Too bad, that sweety comes and goes as he likes it. I would love to spend more time with him.

Apart from private emotional confusion, the fraternity is starting pretty good. Some new pledges arrived and they are eager to serve. I'm a little exhausted, cause Rammy isn't much help as pledgemaster. But I enjoy to care for my boys! And we didn't even start officially...

Especially Marq is quite eager as pledge. He's a little weird. That's one reason I like him so much. He seems a little lost, very vulnerable... Hope, he isn't hurt, when other boys get my attention too. - Then there's Dashiel. Sexy boy! I love to chat with him. We're already kind of brothers though he's still a pledge. - And since last night there's Zakk, another hottie. He's a student at Hillcrest too. Hope to see him very often in the frathouse. He want's to make it his home. Very good. That's the spirit!

Oh, here on the pic you see us testing the attention-line for pledges that I've build. Really a nice view!

What else is new? Did I tell about the vampire I met a few weeks ago? He was searching for slaves he could train for a vampire club. Today I met the vampire-lord by coincidence. I had the guts to talk to him. And he invited me to the club to work there as escort. Would be a new experience for me. I'll try it and I'm looking forward to it.

Well, that's it for today. Still a lot of work to do. I screwed up my AOs and try to fix them. Without success yet. Feels so strange to have that newbie-walk again. eeeeeeeewwwwww!

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