Nighthawks

Last week Q, my brother Rammy and uncle Rickie sat around at the bar of the Tiger's Eye club. The static sitting-postitions reminded me of Hopper's "Nighthawks", so I tried to catch the mood in a picture. Well, our talk and mood wasn't that melancholic like in the original, but I think it's a nice picture anyways:

P.S.: I think we need a barkeeper!

Update

Oh my! Almost another week gone. Busy, busy, busy. And so much happened! After sweet brother Jeremie went for 2 weeks holiday, Q brought another brother into our family: Abadon.
And after I had to fight against Q's fears, insecurity and jealousy regarding Jeremie joining the family, now I had to fight my own demons. Wasn't easy for none of us, although Abs is a lovable, sexy and sweet guy.

So, it was a week full of ups and downs, a lot of arguements between tiger and his owner, a lot of sulkiness on both sides and hurt tiger running away again and again. (Should stop that!) But everything climaxed in a happy end...

But first (tease! tease!) let me tell you about the club. So much work, so little time. Always busy with scheduling and decorating, no time for the jungle, although I can't wait to go on with that!

One of the events was a pajama-party last week. Oh, I so loved that big teddy-bear, laying in it's lap. Who doesn't dream of something like that???

And then "Back to school!"-theme. Q did extra for me. I love that theme! Too bad that noone took advantage of the spanking-menue I rezzed. But all were so sexy in their schoolboi-uniforms. Loved it!

Well, weekend wasn't so busy with the club, but busy with talks. JC showed me this wonderful place, where you can fly around in orbit. We had a long talk and sweet cowboy did a lot of partnership-counceling. I visited that place several times now - together with Q, showing it my brother Rammy and floating alone. Relaxing, chilling, wonderful.
Made this pic and thought it was good; like kinda surrealistic Dali-painting. Till angel told me, that it looks like as if Q's head was a meteor. (/me cursing under my breath) You have to look close to see, that his head is on my shoulders. I guess, we'll have to go there again, taking some more pictures, dressing in living lights or something...

Well, that's it... almost. *hehe* Because: After all those arguments in the last days, Q & me finally recognized and solved the problem. We never clarified our relationship. What started as owner and his pet became so much more. But what? Both of us tried to assure the other one his love and meaning, but without saying it out loud. And just the moment I was ready to step back into being "just a free-strolling pet", because I didn't like what became of me (jealous, sulky, hurted, bitchy struggling kitten), as I thought I don't mean so much to him as he does to me, we recognized what we both needed and both wanted: The assurance to be #1 to each other. So...

on saturday, 6th of September,
Quagmire Juran and this tiger here
became partners!

I'm so happy! I know, that we belong to each other. And now we can start to become a big, happy family! ("Yes, I want children. And if someone asks - I'm the pretty one!" - hehe, did I mention I love "Torch Song Trilogy"?)

business and family

Whoa! A lot happened these days. And tiger was really busy and a little exhausted...

Surprisingly became a club-co-owner with Q and Rod. So, there's "Tiger's Eye" club now... on "Tiger's Isle" and the group "Tiger's Claw" with the "Tiger's Tail" dancers... Which other body-parts are available? "Tiger's Dick" would be a good name for an escort-agency?

The last two events at Domineck's were "Tiny & Opposite Sex" and Country Night on Friday. - Hehe, the 'Tiny & Opposite sex' on thursday was kinda funny. What a combination! Ever tried to change your gender in appearance? Gee, that was so confusing. I'm not much into cross-dressing, but it was really funny to dance with "Josephine" and "Lenia" as "Bang-Bang LaDesh" (yes, I love "Torch Song Trilogy"), but at the end I was glad to get rid of those feet-killing high heals and change back into tiger. Too bad (or really good) I forgot to take pics of the "ladies". But at least I took a pic of the two cuuuuuuuute tinies. So sweet, I wanted to take them home into my bed! (Okay, in their normal appearance they are sexy and I would take them home into my bed either; but not to cuddle then).

So, friday was the last night. And it should have been a last, big, good event. But I didn't recognize much of it, cause of a big fight with Q. So, it's time again to talk about that thing called "love"... Why does it always have to be that way? Why can't my men accept me like I am? I had that before at that annoyable 2-day-marriage, then with my hottie vampire and now again? You agree to an open relationship, but then you have to fight their jealousy all the time. It's so annoying, being accused to fuck every stranger that crosses your way. - Well, I don't do that anyways, but if I'd do it, so what? I love love, I love body-contact, I love sharing a sensual experience... But then you let someone in your life and suddenly he expects you to stop all this; to share only with him? Don't get me wrong: If a couple agrees and is happy with monogamy and none of both has the feeling of self-chastisement, then it's fine for them. Go on with it and good luck! But honestly: Who is like that? And what's the result of it? Betrayal and lies. Me dunno like betrayal and lies. Me like honesty. Much more important then so-called fidelity. When I chose to belong to someone, that doesn't mean that I stop sharing experiences with others. Not in RL and definitely not in SL. A partnership - no matter how you call it (boyfriend, owner/pet, partner...) - has nothing to do with property (that's why I never could be a slave; pet? yes, slave? no), but with belonging. Is a subtle difference. So, when I chose to share my (second) life with someone, of course I want to see him and make him happy. But you can't make someone happy, if you have to break yourself for it; if you have to try to be someone else; cause then you will get unhappy and this helps noone. You have to love yourself before you can love others. - Something like that my dear friend JC said. And it's so true!

So... had a fight about this on friday. But saturday was a good day. Q and me shared time together, we've been with my brother Rammy who introduced us to a friend of him. Nice house and a nice windmill. I tried to take pictures, but it wasn't easy...

Rammy Quagmire

And as I didn't have to work, it was a very relaxed day. JC started his treasure-hunt (though we were too busy in chat to take part) and later Q and me been shopping with our newest family-member: my new brother Jeremie. Was a good night.

But sunday... oh my! So busy! Some preparations for the first party in our club. Then heading over to JC's monthly rez party. Took a pic --- and could bite my tail, that I didn't take pics of our own party. *lol* Too excited and busy and laggy...

So, sunday at 7.00 pm "Tiger's Eye" had it's first party. Not the official grand opening, but first party. What else but neko-night to start with? And I was so excited. And concerned. First I thought, noone will come, but then they came... and came... and came. The creme de la creme of gay neko-world was there - besides lovely DJ Kaj there were Adian and Lufian and Chester and.. and.. and... YAY! Made me happy. And I so hope they liked it and will come back, especially to sunday's neko-parties. - Later all those lovely babes from JC's rez-party came too, sexy cowboy included. Too bad, I forgot to take pics...

Q, Jeremie and me were all a little exhausted and tired at the end of that day. So things didn't went too well after the party. *sigh* I hope this will soon get better. It was better on mondays. Our first real "family day", and it was full of love and sex and cuddles and talks between Quag, Jer and me. I loved it and was so happy and really relaxed for the first time since weeks. Only interrupted from a weirdo stalker, ex of Q, who thought it would be funny or whatever to take pics of us having sex. Oh my! Poor Q was devastated, but Jer and me could only laugh about that crazy guy. Wished, the pics would have been better, so I could have published them on my blog or make some nice Xmas-cards out of it.
The other day I read at InVdaily about so-called "snappers". Gee, there are some strange people. Well, couldn't happen to me. Oki, I would pay for copies, if the pics were of artistic quality. =^.^= *hehe*
However, it was a really fine day, but didn't end too well. When you hear every day a depressed "I can't make you happy! :((" although you are happy, then you get a little tired of trying to convince him, that it isn't so. Had the same problem before till I gave up. I don't want to give up this time; so I hope very much, that he will learn and accept, that he's a wonderful and lovable and caring person, loved very much by his tiger. And he definitely has to learn to take things easy.

So that's my message to all of you out there: Love yourself!

Friendship

"Friendship is like peeing your pants:
everyone can see it,
but only you can feel the true warmth."

Dunno, where I did read that; I think it was somewhere on MySpace...

I wanted to write a comment on Rickie's blog, but you know chatty tiger: Never find's an end. So I decided to write an extra article here.

So, what happened? Sweet Rickie made an experiment, stayed off-line for a few days (though I'm pretty sure I saw him every day, but... hm), to see who of his friendslist IMs him and who not. Oooooookay... First of all: Dear Rickie, to say "Oh, I'll be some days offline and see, who asks for me, and that one is a real friend!" is a kinda diva-attitude, isn't it? And it makes me sad. That such an experiment must be disappointing and desillusioning, that's clear. Just because of wrong expectations.
First: Why IM someone, when he's not online anyways?
Second: I don't make a schedule of my friendslist who's on at which time. So it may take two weeks or so till I recognize, I'm missing someone.
Third: I'm too busy most of the time to ask everyone on my friendslist every day if he is okay; and I guess so is everyone else.

For me friends aren't those who are always around me and try to chat to me. Of course that's nice, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are real friends (okay, 90% only wanna fuck anyways...). Real friends come, when others leave. And with a real friend - that's in SL like in RL to me - I have a connection, even if I don't meet or talk to them for weeks.

In the last weeks I had a lot of opportunities to feel friendship where I didn't expect it, as well as disappointment by those who I thought were friends. I felt it that night as I heard of the suicide of my sister Nia. Suddenly people on my friendslist stayed with me which I never had expected to. Some I didn't talk for months, but they were there!
And on the other side, I experienced a lot of disappointment too. People who were meant to be my friends talking bad about me behind my back, banning me from parcels, insulting me as "whore"... And others who claimed to be my friends never again talking to me after I left Premier... so what? They may have reasons. It hurts, it disappoints, but I'm not angry. I feel sad for them and for me, cause hate and anger are such a waste of emotion and energy, and I think it's just pathetic and they shame themselves with their infantile behaviour. But anyways - if one of them would come and need my help or comfort or just someone to talk to... I'd be there.

So, dear Rickie, I totally disagree. Friendship and love aren't about receiving, they are things to give! If someone offers you friendship, accept it. Don't have too big expectations. You may not hear anything ever again from some of them. But maybe you will suddenly experience a surprise, maybe you will feel the warmth of embracing and caring love from people you never expected. It happened to me several times and it's much more important then all the other disappointments.

pics and comments

Oki, been a while since I wrote an entry. Things keeping me pretty busy. So much to do, so little time. SL has become a place full of hatred and abuse of "power" to me these days. That's strange and takes a lot of fun from being here. I should be old enuff to know, that you can't be loved by everbody. Some people will just hate you, no matter how nice you are (and I think I *am* a nice guy and worth to be known and called a friend), but it still hurts every single time. However, I don't wanna talk about it atm, so here are just a few pics with comments:

With my beloved owner Q
Started as a owner-pet-relationship,
but became so much more to me
and becoming more every day
If only some wounds from before would heal
on both sides

Country night last saturday
I was so proud of my decoration
but somehow day ended not too good for me

my smexy brother Tree


Neko and furry night
my decoration was awesome
REALLY!
and I had a lot of fun with the other kittehs

JC visiting us the other day
why can't all the people in SL be like him?
He's sexy, cute, nice and a real good friend
Everybody likes him
I can't imagine, that he ever hates somebody
or that he gets angry
well, maybe about me a little
when he sees, that I published these pics of him as fairy
(but he was soooooo cute, couldn't resist!)
=^.^=

Spending 2 hours on the new "Lovescene II" of bits and bobs
OMG - It's fantastic!
(Oki, blog is turning pornographic now?
But it's set to "adult", so what?!?)

Jungle Night on monday
had not much time to decorate
did it all in 5 minutes
but looked not too bad...

Dancing on the beach with neighbor Rod and his boys
and my brother Tree

"Tie Dye" - I had no idea what that is
Now I know
oh my... something must have been wrong with that shisha...

And this is just me
I like that outfit
and the pics

life is wonderful (blogfiller)

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
It takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished