Thursday, August 28, 2008


"Friendship is like peeing your pants:
everyone can see it,
but only you can feel the true warmth."

Dunno, where I did read that; I think it was somewhere on MySpace...

I wanted to write a comment on Rickie's blog, but you know chatty tiger: Never find's an end. So I decided to write an extra article here.

So, what happened? Sweet Rickie made an experiment, stayed off-line for a few days (though I'm pretty sure I saw him every day, but... hm), to see who of his friendslist IMs him and who not. Oooooookay... First of all: Dear Rickie, to say "Oh, I'll be some days offline and see, who asks for me, and that one is a real friend!" is a kinda diva-attitude, isn't it? And it makes me sad. That such an experiment must be disappointing and desillusioning, that's clear. Just because of wrong expectations.
First: Why IM someone, when he's not online anyways?
Second: I don't make a schedule of my friendslist who's on at which time. So it may take two weeks or so till I recognize, I'm missing someone.
Third: I'm too busy most of the time to ask everyone on my friendslist every day if he is okay; and I guess so is everyone else.

For me friends aren't those who are always around me and try to chat to me. Of course that's nice, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are real friends (okay, 90% only wanna fuck anyways...). Real friends come, when others leave. And with a real friend - that's in SL like in RL to me - I have a connection, even if I don't meet or talk to them for weeks.

In the last weeks I had a lot of opportunities to feel friendship where I didn't expect it, as well as disappointment by those who I thought were friends. I felt it that night as I heard of the suicide of my sister Nia. Suddenly people on my friendslist stayed with me which I never had expected to. Some I didn't talk for months, but they were there!
And on the other side, I experienced a lot of disappointment too. People who were meant to be my friends talking bad about me behind my back, banning me from parcels, insulting me as "whore"... And others who claimed to be my friends never again talking to me after I left Premier... so what? They may have reasons. It hurts, it disappoints, but I'm not angry. I feel sad for them and for me, cause hate and anger are such a waste of emotion and energy, and I think it's just pathetic and they shame themselves with their infantile behaviour. But anyways - if one of them would come and need my help or comfort or just someone to talk to... I'd be there.

So, dear Rickie, I totally disagree. Friendship and love aren't about receiving, they are things to give! If someone offers you friendship, accept it. Don't have too big expectations. You may not hear anything ever again from some of them. But maybe you will suddenly experience a surprise, maybe you will feel the warmth of embracing and caring love from people you never expected. It happened to me several times and it's much more important then all the other disappointments.


Rickie Z. said...

Tiger, no I wasn't being "diva-ish". I really didn't think about it until someone else mentioned they IMed me wondering where I was. Not the actual point I was trying to make. That is more in the last paragraph or so. Again the meandering wandering rants...Just me. Please forgive me if I seemed to harsh or disgruntled or disappointed. I was not. Still I am not. I love the friends I have in SL. The ones I know that would be there if needed. Like you have already been Tiger. Like Q has. I don't think I am an "attention whore". Am I? ^.^ It was just a conversation in my head and wrote it out. :-(

Franziskus said...

Don't worry. So I just wrote my thoughts. And maybe I'm just foolish trusting all the time and being there for everybody all the time; but that's just me... =^.^=

Quagmire said...

Friendship and love aren't about receiving, they are things to give! If someone offers you friendship, accept it. Don't have too big expectations. Could not have said it better myself. Thats all we can do is accept it, even if we don't understand it, this blog entry made a difference in something you know tiger we have been going a little round in circles with, chasing our kitty tails hehe. That friend will be in our lives not talking about you dear-heart rickie you already have a place with us both. I can't wait to talk to you more abou it tiger whenever i get done with rl today if you want. Just wanted you to know this was the most insight I have known in days. Again our evening may have been up and down lol, but I love the costume you gave me for the party tonight, you know just how to please my heart. Hope you slept well darling.

Rammy said...

The thing about friendship is that you can only put stuff into it - you can never pull stuff out. But when you put in stuff you get something back just not when you think you are going to get something back. It will come back as a surprise.