random update

I think it's time for some more updates. Been so busy the last weeks with building and renovating Tidra. Hm, I think I'm busy with building for the last 2.5 years?  I don't know if you can really call it "building". Someone once said about me, I would only place prefabbed objects and every idiot could do that. Some others said, I'm the best builder they ever met. - I think it's something in between. Lets say I'm a good decorator with an eye and passion for details.

A good builder to me knows how to sculpt and to script. I have no idea about scripting (unless to change some existing scripts) . And sculpting? ... well, still learning. - Anyways... I've been busy. Still am. But Tidra is getting quite nice, I think. However I wouldn't be Franzi if I was satisfied with it. Now as it is almost finished, I think it could be better. *hehe*

Although I love to build or to create or to decorate or whatever you call it... I could use a break now. It's going on quite too long already. But at least it distracted me from other things. Like missing my hubbie! Kenshi is away from SL way too long already because of some RL-issues. And my lil devil Mick had no connection for weeks. Since friday his connection is back, but haven't seen him much.

One week ago my lil RL-kitteh had to be euthanized. He was sick for a while, but I always still had hope, because he fought so hard, was eating much and he tried and tried and tried.  The vet was not a big help; she wanted to euthanize him already 2 months ago. Last weekend he somehow lost the fight. He wasn't "himself" anymore, his glance was "absent". I held him on my lap the whole night from sunday to monday, kept him in my arms on the bed later... didn't get sleep that night... maybe an hour I dozed away... It was one of my hardest nights ever, feeling his weak little body close to me, holding him and unable to do anything for him except giving him my love and warmth. In the morning I called the vet for giving the little red devil a injection, but still had to wait the whole day until the vet came. A long day of suffering for both of us - the kitten and me.

Thanks to Teleny and Eddi for their comments and soothing words. Sadly I don't believe in afterlife, but the thought of a kitteh-heaven full of mice to hunt (question: Are those mice then in mouse-hell? Being hunted by kittehs again and again?) and catnip to roll in is comforting.

However - standing almost alone with the sorrow these days made me think a lot. Think about what this second life is worth. But maybe I'm just too exhausted and things will be better.

Last week I got a bit distraction from the distraction of building. Was at a "capture the flag" game at Tabor which was fun, though I still have no idea, where my shot arrows land. The other distraction was last night, when I first went to the Tabor-dance (which is always a very quiet event. People seem to be in voice, but I can't hear voice and music at the same time) and then over to Tainted Boys, where we celebrated Germany's soccer-victory against England. Was fun especially as I suddenly remembered, that almost exactly two years ago I was in the same costume for the very first time at Tainted Boys. JC dragged me there... I think it was the time of the European soccer-championship.

So, that's it so far. Time to return to building. Soon going to make a new video about Tidra, when the work is finally done (if ever!)...

Mickey, R.I.P.

Yesterday one of my two little kittehs passed away: Mickey "The Paw" Floppels.

This has nothing to do with SL, but he's worth to be mentioned. Will miss you!

Pissed

As I'm about whining and complaining about bad, bad Gor anyways, I have to tell you about yesterday. Because yesterday I was not only annoyed, I was really pissed off!

So, what happened? Well, let me tell you first about Tidra: We have two official groups there: The warrior-chain and the savage tribe. Apart from those a while ago a panther-girl asked, if she could find shelter in one of the caves for a while. Nice as we are, we allowed it. She brought in someone else who brought in someone else... - Meanwhile we regret our kindness, especially after yesterday! Those people never ever supported Tidra in any way; neither with donations, nor with RP (help in defence etc.), just using the space, prims and our dungeon. More and more these days we felt abused and put-upon.

As we started the renovation of the island, we closed it for RP. Had sent out a notice to the group and put also a notice in the notecard-giver at the entrance for everyone to read. So far so good.

Now yesterday I was minding my own business (which is building, building, building), as an acquainted woman with another woman stormed the isle. I informed them in IM, that the island is closed for RP atm, but they are free to look around. A while later I got their report, how they burnt down the savage camp as revenge for capturing and torturing one of their outlaw slaves. Well, I was not annoyed at that moment, just wondering because 1. I didn't know of any capture and torture, 2. the tribe certainly had nothing to do with it (so burning down their camp is sooooooooo stupid!), 3. it's exactly what I talked about before - Jesus! Someone captured and tortured an outlaw-SLAVE and the group behind them takes revenge? Outlaw-WOMEN sailing all alone over the ocean to burn down a camp? And leaving a WRITTEN message though savages are illeterate anyways? - That's all so not Gorean and not even reasonable. And you wonder, why I tell you, that your RP and your group SUCKS? 4. I had told them AND it was in the notecard at the entrance, that the island is CLOSED for RP, so WTF?!?

The story behind it was, that it seems one of those guests of the guests of the guests mentioned above had dragged that slave into our dungeon. Again: He has nothing to do with us, just allowed to stay on Tidra, but not acting in the name of Tidra. So I got pissed at that guy, because he had ignored the notices and the notecard and just continued abusing the priviliges he was granted in the permission to stay ("for a while") and hide in one of the caves. But even more I got pissed off by that woman who started bitching. Her tone was rude and she told me, how annoying we are (for capturing first and then telling them "no RP atm") and tried to tell me, what I can do and what not... that the guy would have acted in the name of Tidra - which he didn't - and that *we* are responsible and *we* have to deal the consequences... No we are not and don't have to. I'm not everybody's keeper! When someone hides in one of the caves, it's *his* RP. When he get's a membership so he can rezz his objects, then it's an OOC-thing. All of that was just soooooo wrong. All her actions IC and OOC were wrong. And she was really bitchy, arrogant and commanding. I'm really considering banning her from Tidra and putting her as first person on my no-RP list.

So, yes! I was pretty pissed off and still am. If she would have asked nicely (what btw. another member of that outlaw-group did!), we could have found a solution. But not *that* way.

Did I mention, how annoyed I am of Gor?

annoying Gor #9275

Haven't done Gorean RP for weeks now except a short visit to Silver Tree which was more visiting friends then RPing. Oh and a short intermezzo at the Gay Gor pride. Had not much time for Gay Gor pride as all the planning was on weekends and I'm always working on weekends.

But although I haven't had RP I'm considering if I should return to it, when I'm finished with all the building. Maybe I should just stay on our island? I'm so annoyed. I'm annoyed of aggressive women swinging blades and heavy spears and challenging every warrior, just because they have the better computer-equipment and less laggy connection. I'm annoyed of the mentioned impudent slaves who can, because they're protected by their group. I'm annoyed of big outlaw-groups ganging up to more members then any city. I'm annoyed of tag&profile-readers. I'm annoyed of GorCrafters. I'm annoyed of all the wannabe-invincibles who cheat with invisible shields and other tools (you know who you are!). I'm annoyed of citizens holding small-talk with the outlaws in the cities. II'm annoyed of people who don't know how to emote at all.  Im also annoyed of (some) para-RPers who need 5 minutes for an emote in novel-length (Nothing wrong with good emotes and I'll give you the time for it, but when it's just a sign, that you're so in love and busy with your own emotes, ignoring the actions and words of others and taking the fluency out of a RP, then it's just... annoying). I'm annoyed of people changing their role and/or group faster then others changing their underwear. I'm annoyed of... well, I'm annoyed.

Actually I do like RP. Good RP. But the good RPs I had in 1.5 years I can count on one or maybe two hands. It's propably me? I have other expectations on RP. While I'm trying to act like in a serious movie - may it be drama, adventure, comedy or romance - most others seem to play in a cheap capture-raid-torture-kill-porn. That's why everyone wants to be a warrior or outlaw or Ubar. Well, physicians are an exception; they at least seem to like other kind of RP. But where are the merchants, the tarn-keepers, the blacksmiths? Where's the haggling, the courts, the negotiations? We tried several other RPs, especially as savages, but it was a matter of fact - in most SIMs (except Arad, now City of Ushindi), we were ignored or just not taken serious. And I can give you my word: It would have been good RP. Too bad for anyone who doesn't take the chance. But I'm more and more aware: They just do not want it. They just want the raid, fight, capture, collar, torture, kill. That's not what I want. So I ask myself: Am I at the right place?

We have a Gorean SIM. But more and more these days I don't know, what is it good for? 

neverending story - the outlaw slave

I never get tired... or do I?.... of repeating how annoying it is, that so many people do not accept their role in SL Gor-RP. One of those are the outlaw-slaves. I've wrote about them before and Misha wrote an article about them a while ago also.

I don't care much if a slave kneels all the time or finishes every sentence with "Master" or any of the other rules, which are more or less invented by RPers and not by the books and often taken too serious. BUT I expect a slave to know and to accept his role.

The other day I had this conversation with an outlaw female (= one of the other annoyments which is not role-like)

Franzi: "How "Gorean" are bratty slaves, who CAN act bratty, because they know that a big group stands behind them ?"

Outlaw-female: "we are outlaws so yes the slaves can be bratty"

What. A. Bullshit.

A slave is a slave is a slave. If you don't accept your role, then don't play it. A slave in Gor faces always severe punishment or death if he's disrespectful or even displeasing to a Free. Period. But noooooo.... not in SL-Gor! They are running around, eye-rolling and sassy and more impudent then any Free would be, capturing, binding, raping, torturing.... And if they get caught and punished, they run home to their group like a whiney kindergarten-kiddie and then the whole group comes to take revenge. So the little brat can continue with a bratty behaviour, which would already be rude from a Free, but inacceptable from a slave.

No, that has nothing to do with Gor. Did I mention: SL-Gor sucks!!!

the wedding

It's almost four weeks ago when we had the double-wedding. Kenshi & me renewed our vows in Gorean tradition. In Gor a Free Companionship lasts one year, after that it is renewed or just dissolved. There are no divorces in Gor. *hehe* Well, I'm glad, my hubbie chosed to renew the vows with me.

And my two boys / little bros, Mick & Brian, had their SL-wedding the same day. Their RL-wedding - as I mentioned before - two days before that.

It was a bit of a stressy time. They had to do preparations for the RL-wedding, so I was pretty alone moving Tidra from the homestead-SIM to the full SIM, building a sky-platform to live at outside of RP AND to make preparations for the SL-wedding.

Thanks to JC, who done the ceremony, and to Heloq, who cared for the music, and thanks to all the guests it was a very romantic (even if laggy) event.

Haven't seen either my hubby or my boys often since. The lil rascals went to honeymoons and my dragon was away for some work travels for two weeks.

Some updates

Have been very, very busy the last weeks and will be busy the next days/weeks also. There would be so much to tell about, but then again I'm too busy to write. *hehe*

As I don't know, how much I'd write today, I'll just post some shorter (or longer) articles followed down

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..... up there?
You never know exactly where blogger posts your posts... *heh*