Thursday, March 13, 2008

Andrej, my angel

I have to admit: I was a little love-sick this week! Well, too many things happened at the same time. I got ready with the house. That should have been a day to celebrate! But none of my friends were available. Rammy wasn't there at all. And Andrej? He spent about 5 or 6 hours with Quirt and didn't even answer my phone-calls.

I tried to kill time by going through my inventory. It's still a mess! More then ever before (after all that building... no wonder!). Then I crashed and the work of 2 hours was deleted. As well as part of my inventory. Arrrrgggghhh!

So, I wasn't in a good mood at all. I went to dance in a weird club called "Methadon clinik". Name says all! Strange post-apocalyptic place, dark music (punk, heavy metal and stuff...). Sometimes it's good, but I can't bear it too long. Well, it fitted my mood.

I was almost ready to leave, when Andrej finally appeared. And I was so angry. - Maybe unfair? I don't know! I even don't know, what I expect of him. I said "nothing", but is it true? I just thought it's strange: When we meet, he's "on the jump" most of the time. And we can't do much 'cause of his duty ((=roommate in RL)). But then he had several hours time to spend it with Quirt in a Steambath? Tell me, folks: What would YOU think?

Oh, did I talk about Quirt? - He's one of the students at our college (Hillcrest). He was straight, but one day Rammy and me made him to do some special performance for us. Andrej had a crush on him. He changed his appearance (I can't bear it! He's so butch in it! No longer my little angel...) and turned Quirt into a gay boy only by the "power of his will". Don't ask me, how that works. I don't understand it myself. Now Quirt is owned by Andrej...

Soooooo.... I don't know how to handle all that!? Maybe it's jealousy? But I'm not the jealous guy. A little envious maybe, but not jealous. - Maybe the paranoid feeling, that I'm just betrayed? But Andrej told me, nothing happened, and they were not in the steambath but in a cafe to talk. Hm, believe that? (There are nicer places to talk but the coffee near the steambath at boystown...)
I think the problem is the fear to loose him. I'm tempted to let him go anyway. - Oh, typical me! I don't want him to feel torn between Quirt and me. So I push him away to make it easier for him. Sometimes I'm acting in SL as dump as in RL. Doing that all the time...

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