Friday, August 15, 2008

I just wanna fucking dance


Things went pretty good the last two days. Some low moments, but in a good mood most of the time. Still not stabile and balanced as I once used to be. Maybe the hormons, maybe the lack of sleep, maybe too many disappointments, maybe all of that.

But had some pretty good events. I just love to dress fancy and decorate. If I won't know better, I'd say I'm gay! Oh, wait....? *grins* However, there was "Best in Blue" and I looked awesome (see pic top). And was "(horny) Angels and Devils" and looked even more awesome.

Talking of angels... Met Andrej again two days ago. We drank coffee at Boystown and talked about old times and new times... Was pretty good. I'm glad, I'm in peace now with him. Hope to see him more often again. Anyway... should take more time to just hang out with friends and enjoying life.

Had my day off yesterday. Jojo managed the event at Dom's and did a good job. Well, I was there anyways the whole time. My outfit was just tooooo fancy to not be there! But I enjoyed not working, not concentrating on the open chat the whole time (although I did) and just dance and flirt... Well, not much difference to work. *lol* Funny thing, that I was asked 7 times in IMs, where my tip-jar was.
However, events becoming better again. Djs love to be there, some of them so much, that they refuse to get tipped. - I wanna say that part of it is my benefit, beside Q's and my dance-fellows. I'm a little proud of it.

Well, and as it was my day off, I was shopping a lot. Oh my! Don't send a neko shopping. Especially not a gay neko. Especially not a gay neko with some money in his pocket! I bought about 10 complete outfits. And a lot of other stuff. My closet is bursting! And I have no idea, when to wear all this, cause tiger is naked most of the time. - Well, he's not the only one who likes that, as you can see on the picture (Gosh, sexy J's.... there've been!).

What else? Owner-pet-relationship with Q is working out pretty fine, though it's becoming much more then that. In the beginning, I just wanted someone to care for me. Someone I can rely on, be on the taking side, without the urge of giving in return... Being selfish this time. But things changed. Seems, tiger can't stop caring, but that's oki. Master's so sweet and nice (often too nice, so I have to remind him to command me *hehe*), but with deep sadness in his soul. He deserves more happiness, and I hope I can give him some of it. However, he developes more and more to a boyfriend then an owner. Love him, but first I have to get over my mixed feelings for someone else before I can fall in love again. Scars are too deep and it's hard to trust in anybody else's feelings these days.
That also may be the reason, that my family-idea doesn't work out well at the moment. All I want is equal love, peace and harmony (and sex!). But it seems first each of us (me included) has to fight the dark demon of jealousy before this is possible (if ever). Well, I won't give up hope...

So, that's it for now. RL calls soon (yeeeeek!). Have a nice weekend!


3 comments:

Jordyn Carnell said...

Your "blue costume" looks HOT! I need to go shopping with you sometime!

Franziskus said...

Oh, most favorite cowboy of mine, what do you need more then your hat and a low raise jeans to look hot?

But I love shopping, so sure!

Jordyn Carnell said...

For me jealousy is about being inwardly focused.. how i feel.. my insecurities.. my fears of loss.. etc.

By being outwardly focused and accepting of people and whatever happens I shed that.. and can care and love and feel.. and just "BE"

PS: shoes are kinda important too