missing

Well, sunday is over and I survived. That's what I'm going to do: Surviving one day after the other. It will get better, I hope. It will get worse, I'm afraid. I haven't even cried yet. Searching for distraction all the time. Either I'll get a breakdown these days or I'll find balance back. Dunno.
Had not much time to think yesterday. Had to go to work soon at Spiritz. Sunday is striptease there, so it was the right thing for tiger. Kiefer and me played with the guests. And as Kenneth arrived, I concentrated on him. Hm, neglected the other guests a little bit, but there weren't too many anyways. And Ken tipped me (though I would have played with him without the tip anyways).
Rammy arrived too, but party was over soon, so we went to the gallery to take a look at our pictures. I'm still waiting for some copies, but I'm not sure if we are expected to BUY them!? You know, I had fun at the shooting and I don't complain modelling nude, but actually you get paid for modelling. Of course I don't expect that, but I definitely refuse to buy the pictures then.
Then we went to Jake's. I've never been there before though I read about it on JCs blog. 't was nice but lag-hell started again. Oh my, that's so disappointing when you're surrounded by hot guys and you can't look around, cause your screen freezes as soon as you move an inch. I heard JC and looked out for the cowboy hat. That's cool! Easy to find in the crowd (except we're doing a naked cowboy hat line dance again). So, tried to dance over to him at the other end of the dance-floor. Gee! Took me about 10 minutes to get there, moving very careful, but touching zillions of butts and cocks on my way by accident. I swear! Accident! Finally there I only stared at his butt-crack and didn't dare to move my eyes anymore. Well, who complains? Couldn't even write most of the time.
Well, wasn't in the mood to talk much anyways. My Prince was on, but we didn't meet or talk the whole evening. Oh my, how I missed him! But maybe to see him, to have him near me would only cause more pain. So it's oki.

What I miss the most is feeling him. It was never before and I'm afraid it will never be again like with him. Every touch of him I felt in RL. His skin on my skin... I felt it. Felt his breath on my neck, his hands on my body, his soul connected to mine... *sigh* [brain shouts: "STOP IT, TIGER!!!!"]

However, Kenneth brought me to bed. Hm, he's still a little weird. Dunno. I asked him to do me the favor to hold me while I'm falling asleep (log off). I didn't tell him about the break-up though; bothered him too much with my problems in the last two weeks. - So, I asked him to hold me and suddenly he got dressed, stood up and said he had to go. I was disappointed, but I refused to tell him how much I needed someone to hold me. Thank god he changed his mind and came back to the rug to hold me till I fallen asleep.

Hm, what else? I want to change my haircut for the human form. It's just time for a change. And this Franzi looks too innocent. Bought a nice cap similar to the cute one that Douggie has. Fits me well, but isn't much of the fratboy; more a tiger without ears. *hehe* So, I'll have to look around more for it... But first of all RL calls for some hours...