Sunday, June 8, 2008


oh my! After I only slept 3 hours last night, one should think tiger would sleep this night like a stone. But noooohooooo! Too many thoughts running around that pretty head. After three days of confusion tiger thought things will become good. But I dunno. Feeling so much fear now. Prince surprised me with telling me, that he's going to be collared. Well, he was looking for a new father-figure and I was happy for him, that he found one. But collared? That is so much different. He is owned now. I'm made second. Owner comes first. He - the one who agreed with me, that love has nothing to do with property - is now property of another man. A willingless, obeying slave. He says it isn't so. Maybe he's right. I know, I should just wait and see. But I've gone through all of this before. Been excluded before. Feel excluded again. Becoming more and more meaningless for another person. Am I ready, to go through all of this again? At the end standing there alone? Tiger is so scared. Tiger is frightened. Tiger is thinking too much. I know, I should just wait and see. Maybe there really can be a happy family like I had the vision once before? That would be fine. But then again tiger has visions of a willingless slave torn out of his loving arms called by a master. I dunno. Too many thoughts. And not enuff sleep.


Jordyn Carnell said...

I prolly shouldn't read your blog backwards.. or maybe, YOU should reread it going backwards.. a lot of the time fears don't materialize the way you seem to be thinking they will.. and friends are friends regardless of if they were ever lovers..

gonna skip to the beginning and read forward.. luv you!

Franziskus said...

OMG! Indeed! I forgot that I once was collared too! Well, it was a little different, cause I asked my bro to collar one form of me(my tigerish side, which was uninsincive that time). Oh my, now tiger has to think again... *sigh*

Jordyn Carnell said...

I forget I'm also a vampire until i meet other vampires.. all i've ever done is 'become' a vampire.. and bitten some friends who wanted to be feed on.. I've never made anyone else a vampire..

I got a outfit to be a Gor master 'cuz friends kept saying i'd make a good one, but havn't tried it..

And got another costume to be a fairy 'cuz I wanted to see what they were like (and met a cute one)