sleepless

oh my! After I only slept 3 hours last night, one should think tiger would sleep this night like a stone. But noooohooooo! Too many thoughts running around that pretty head. After three days of confusion tiger thought things will become good. But I dunno. Feeling so much fear now. Prince surprised me with telling me, that he's going to be collared. Well, he was looking for a new father-figure and I was happy for him, that he found one. But collared? That is so much different. He is owned now. I'm made second. Owner comes first. He - the one who agreed with me, that love has nothing to do with property - is now property of another man. A willingless, obeying slave. He says it isn't so. Maybe he's right. I know, I should just wait and see. But I've gone through all of this before. Been excluded before. Feel excluded again. Becoming more and more meaningless for another person. Am I ready, to go through all of this again? At the end standing there alone? Tiger is so scared. Tiger is frightened. Tiger is thinking too much. I know, I should just wait and see. Maybe there really can be a happy family like I had the vision once before? That would be fine. But then again tiger has visions of a willingless slave torn out of his loving arms called by a master. I dunno. Too many thoughts. And not enuff sleep.