Wednesday, May 21, 2008

long night

What a long night it was! And so full of emotions... The first time I've spent a whole evening with S. *sigh* He bought a little parcel, built his castle there. And he showed me the place. And then I stuck, that means I couldn't tp away from there. But let's be honest: There are worse things happening! I was happy to spend hours and hours with him. We talked a lot and hugged and danced. *sigh again* Laters we invited Dashy, my favorite Gor-slaves of all those sexy Gor-slaves, over to the house. Let him do some naughty things. I think, he liked it. *giggle*

As S. had to go to bed (oh, way too late! I should take care, that he gets more sleep, even if it means to me, that I'll see him less) I met my little kitten Douggie again. Talked to him for a while, wanted to show him the escort club, but then he crashed again and never came back. Always the same. I'm standing there and waiting for him, but he never comes back. Hm...

Okay, 't was a good night till that moment. But then I met mylord. And he was angry and disappointed. I understand it. But I don't want to be in the middle of it. Sure, maybe it's my own fault. I started to interfere. Because I wanted to keep father and son together in love and friendship. And maybe to be kind of part of that family. But instead of harmony there's only disappointment and anger on both sides. And little kitteh torn in the middle. Doesn't want to disappoint one of them. Doesn't want to hurt one of them. But it seems I can't be "on both sides" at the same time.
I understand mylords disappointment. I understand his feelings. But I understand as well, that the son has the feeling of being under control the whole time and that he wants his freedom to do and to meet and to have sex whatever and with whoever he wants.
So, D. and I argued... and he hurt me so much with his words - and he didn't even recognize it! -, that I was just desperate. So desperate, that I ran out of the club and jumped off the platform. I know it's bullshit! Why commit suicide? I'm not the suicidal type at all. And of course you can't commit suicide in SL at all, even if you smash from 750 meters down to the ground! I just crashed and had to relog.
Well, we talked then and it was good. He started to build his castle again on my other parcel and then I helped him plaining his own parcel which is for sale. I felt okay again. Just hope, that things between father and son will work out soon.

So... I wanted to go to bed soon. But then I met the second sexiest Gor-slave of all the sexy Gor-slaves... He was horny and we were right about to find a place for us, as his master called him back. *grrrrr* But the same time JJ logged in. Didn't see him for a long time. Hm, it's still strange to see him as dragon... Last week, we danced together in the night-sky. I had changed into full Byakko and we looked fabulous together. Tiger and Dragon! Here's a picture... but you almost can't see him with the night-sky behind him:

However, I thought, he had done the Andrej to me, but he said, he's just busy in RL, cause he has a new job. And I'm torn another time... cause I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know, how much of a boyfriend he still is to me. I don't feel it. Don't feel I belong to him. And he's not much interested in me and my feelings at all. He prooved it again. Didn't even ask how my week was. Well, we'll see where it goes from here. At least we had some fun teaching him rl/sl-sex-crossover. *hehe*

So, it would have been time to go to bed afterwards. But I talked to Kyo for a while. He's looking for a place for a store and a small house for himself, but he doesn't have any money. I was thinking of bringing him together with Dafydd, as he mentioned a while ago the idea of owning a photo-studio. As Kyo is very gothic they would fit as kind of co-operation. And it would be good for D. to have a project he could work on. I'll ask him later, what he thinks about it.

Well, that's it so far. - Oh, our kitsune Kale is leaving. He is adopted by a family. He was concerned, that he couldn't come back, if the adoption doesn't work out, but I assured him, there will always be a place for him in our garden.. But I took a look at his profile this night and wondered a little about Andrej in his picks. Well, it's not of my concerne anymore. Just a little disappointing...

Yeah, that's it for today. Would have a lot of RL-stuff to do, but no energy. Had to do a lot of SL-stuff too, but no energy there either. *sigh*

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